We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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