You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
