Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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