That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
how drunk are you?
Several
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
