Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
