butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize