when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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