just come out here and I will go home with you...
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
