I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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