Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
