My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I checked into jail on foursquare
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
