Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
