he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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