Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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