My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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