Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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