Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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