How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
