It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Randomize
