I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
