I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
