You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
