Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
