i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
