I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She said her name was "party"
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
