Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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