I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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