I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
