Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just cropdusted the office
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
