i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
