I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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