Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You brought string cheese to the strip club
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize