i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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