dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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