the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I love you. Go after that dick
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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