Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
