THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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