he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
