He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
