the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
