lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
