Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
