garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wish you could order shots online.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize
