dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
