it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
