i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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