Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
