the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
