just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Bring me that man meat
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
