she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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