Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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