Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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