i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
