love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
