2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i need some magic done to my vagina
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
