If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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