am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize