I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
