Me too!
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize