I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize