The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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