I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
