you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
