Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
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